Wednesday, January 27, 2016

It's Time to Tell Trump to Go Fuck Himself

Donald Trump is skipping the GOP debate because he is strong and tough.  He’s so disgusted with Fox News and the bleeding Megyn Kelly that he will hold a competing event to raise money for wounded warriors.    That’s because tough guys like Donald Trump take care of warriors.  Tough guys like Trump also have names for the female professionals who moderate debates and ask him direct questions.   He won’t attend the debate because Megyn Kelly is, in Trump’s own words a “bimbo.”


Calling Megyn Kelly a bimbo -- which is someone who only cares about her appearance and has no intelligence – TOTALLY makes it seem like she doesn’t host a news program or make money as a working professional or have children or advanced degrees or anything.   It’s the best slur for women because it’s like, no matter what you achieve, a tough guy can reduce all of your accomplishments to your (probably dirty) vagina. And this is super effective in Megyn Kelly’s case because she’s pretty.   Also, she spells her first name with a Y.  Bimbo time!

Like all the strong and tough dudes who support him, Donald Trump knows a lot about vaginas.  He knows, for example, that vaginas are lame and weak.  He knows from personal experience that the vagina is the opposite of a penis.   If you are being a mean bully, people call you a “dick.”   Like if you insult people, or call them derogatory names, or imply they are bad because you are angry at them for putting you on the spot for using sexist language, even though you are running for president of the entire country -- more than half of which are women who actually take their vaginas to a gynecologist – then you’re being a dick.   In this scenario, for example, Donald Trump is a dick.

If you are being weak and afraid, on the other hand, people call you a “pussy.”   Like if you get so angry when some obvious bimbo puts you on the spot on national television for something you actually did, but don’t think someone should ask you about because they should let you win, that you refuse to play by the rules and take your toys and leave – which you say you’re doing from a position of strength but everyone knows that’s not actually how the world or even the playground works  – then you’re a pussy.   Pussies refuse to stand up with everyone else and take fair questions.  Pussies run away, just like actual vaginas.  In this scenario, for example, Donald Trump is a pussy.

All of which makes me wonder:  If Donald Trump is a dick and a pussy, isn't it really about time for the rest of America – including legitimate news outlets and television networks and all other politicians – to tell him to go fuck himself?  He can do it.  Yes he can.

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