30 Reasons I Already Miss 30 Rock

1.  30 Rock portrayed the best mentor relationship between a female writer and a crank male boss since Mary Tyler Moore and Lou Grant.  Except it was funnier.  More modern.  And Tina Fey really never wore skirts.

2.     Corporate Republican white males seem a lot more loveable when played by handsome Hollywood liberals who have perfect comedic timing.  Food for thought, GOP.

3.     The running joke about Liz Lemon being a lesbian because she dresses frumpy was funny -- not because all lesbians necessarily dress frumpy -- but because that is still an accurate portrayal of what men think about pretty much all women who dress in comfortable clothes.

4.     The stereotype of Dennis being an Irish drunk was funny because that is still an accurate portrayal of how Irish Americans think of themselves.  Also see Jack Donaghy.

5.     Cerie’s character was the perfect foil to Liz and Jenna because she demonstrated exactly why #3 (above) is true.

6.     You have to love a comedy show about a comedy show in which the comedy writers are never seen – nor do they seem remotely capable of -- writing anything funny.

7.     Grizz and Dot Com should totally do their own show. On HBO. Mark Wahlberg should produce it, and appear on every single episode, without a shirt.

8.      30 Rock was about a comedy show.  But what it was really about was the parent-child relationship.  Discuss.
 

9.      Thank you, Tina Fey, for sympathetically portraying a female character who is obsessed with sandwiches.  Speaking on behalf of obsessed lady sandwich lovers everywhere, we salute you.

10.  Oprah will never be a comedic actress.  But Liz Lemon’s hallucination of her should go in the comedy hall of fame, and I’m not just saying that because I drug myself to kingdom come on airplanes and I can imagine that Oprah shit happening.

11.   Hypercritical mothers like Jack’s and Jenna’s are universally hilarious, possibly because hypercritical mothers are somewhat universal.  I'm just guessing.

12.  There has never been a portrayal of anything --in the history of television -- as accurate as that conversation between Jack and his baby’s nanny.  With the possible exception of the shopping trip to Ikea.

13.  Jenna’s character would’ve seemed over the top if it weren’t for Lindsay Lohan, the Kardashians, and  Demi Moore. Which is, I guess, the point. Carry on.

14.   If I had to choose one of the sexy, hot-tempered Latina characters –that were both on shows that occupied primetime spots on the same network -- I’d probably take Sofia Vergara.  But the evil Jack Donaghy/skeptical grandmother bit was genius.

15.   In the long list of bad GE/Kabletown products, my favorite was the spine crushing couch.   But Homonym! was a CLOSE second.

16.   Was Hazel the female Kenneth, the nobody Jenna, or the crazy Liz?  I’m still pondering that today, and I don’t have an answer.  Somehow, it just makes sense that she ended in a sex harassment lawsuit.

17.  Was 30 Rock a sitcom, or a relatively realistic account of the single New York woman’s ongoing struggle to acquire the right apartment, the right blue jeans, a husband, and a baby?   Just like Sex and the City, without all the lunches.

18.  Julianne Moore is a movie star.  That's all I'm qualified to say about that, and so much less.

19.  Ditto James Franco.  But for some reason, Matt Damon translated perfectly to television, possibly because his character’s name was “Carol.”

20.  Liz’s husband’s name was “Criss,” and he ran an organic hot dog truck.  I’m honestly not sure which is more awesome.

21.  The scene in Unwindulax when Liz storms out of Jack’s Republican Party fundraiser, and drops her tampons all over the floor, did more for feminism than Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan put together.

22.  The Jenna Male Impersonator was the most brilliant representation of celebrity self-obsession ever.  Also, Jenna’s pop-up wedding at a funeral.  See, I laughed just writing that.

23.   It was high time someone made fun of that unlicensed New York Elmo. Thank you for taking that on, Tina Fey. I've seen him at a kid's birthday party on the Upper West Side and he's creepy.

24.  Two words: Dr. Spaceman.

25.  Bunions are the perfect metaphor for babies.  Both hurt a lot, disfigure your body, and make you feel grossly old.

26.   30 Rock. Live shows.  Huge Balls.  Finish the haiku, Guys Who Doubt Women Are As Funny As Men.

27.  30 Rock or Seinfeld?  It’s the hot new drinking question, joining the ranks of Elvis or the Beatles, Star Trek or Star Wars, and Kenneth or Kramer.

28.   One of my favorite obscure lines: “Have you not read my terrible short story, ‘The Two Paths of Virginia Apple?’”  Leave yours in the comment section.

29.   Bitchy high school girls are the only people -- other than mean closeted gay guys -- underhanded and melodramatic enough to take on a greedy and powerful corporate executive.  Well played.

30.   I’ll miss you, 30 Rock.  Please create another show, LL. I want to go to there.